"The Difficulty of Forgiveness"

Forgiveness is so hard for most of us. We have resentments about things others have done to us. We bear grudges for offenses from long ago.

These feelings are understandable. But they keep us unhappy — and stuck.

So how do we forgive?

The answer is simple, but not easy. And it can take a while.

We have to understand how the bad thing that happened was actually perfect in some deep way.

Think about someone you haven’t fully forgiven yet. They hurt you, they made you feel bad, they did things that were wrong, or didn’t do things that were right

How could this be perfect? See if one of these questions might apply.

Could this have been a wake-up call? Was there something you needed to hear, or see, or pay attention to, or understand, or do?

Or, is this situation a mirror for you to see something about yourself? Do you have that same trait that you dislike in them? Is this an instance of "You spot it, you got it?"

Or, was this karma? Have you ever done the same thing to someone else? Is this an instance of "What goes around, comes around?" Or, do you always do the opposite thing? Is there some cosmic balancing going on here?

Or, could this be the hand of a higher power in your life? Could this have been preparing you for some higher destiny?

I turn to these questions again and again to help me work toward deeper understanding, less resentment, and more forgiveness.