"The Importance of Making Up"

My mother always told me how important it was to "make up" after a fight. You know, she was right.

After arguments, disagreements, harsh words, or angry feelings — we all need to make up. We need some process that puts us back together. We need to mend the rift and repair the relationship.

The simple passage of time is helpful. We calm down, we put things in perspective, and we remember the big picture. All this helps.

We need other repairs too. An apology is helpful. So is letting your partner know that you can understand their point of view. Kind, soft words let them know that you are feeling loving again — or at least that you’d like to feel that way.

Simple gestures help: offering a cup of tea, or reaching out to touch, or offering to help with something. Little actions can make a person feel cared about and loved.

Laughing together is always good too. It changes the mood, it brings you together.

Usually there’s a series of little words and actions that leads back to loving and caring and feeling good. Then, after a while, you realize you’ve gotten past it. You’ve made up. Good for you.

As my mother would say, "Now you can go out and play again."