"Make a Place for Love in Your Lives"

Everyone talks about "making time" for things that are important. And that’s certainly a good idea. But, today, I also want to suggest the importance of "making a place" for the

parts of your relationship that you want to improve.

If you want to encourage some aspect of your lives — like talking or lovemaking or planning -- think about where in your home that happens. (I’m being literal here, not metaphorical: What room in your house? What part of the room?)

Now, consider that room carefully. How could you make it more conducive to your goals? Should anything be moved or re-arranged? Do you want to bring some new things into that space? Take some things away? Some furniture? A rug? Different colors? Some art? Some music?

It doesn’t need to be expensive. Many lovely, and profound changes can be made with very little expense. The investment of your time, and thought, and creativity can go a long way toward nurturing your dreams for your relationship.

For instance:

If you’d like to make love more, how can you make your bedroom more comfortable and seductive? Different music? A colored scarf over a lamp to change the light? Turning the television off?

If you want more conversation, where do you want to be talking? How can you make that place feel more comfortable and inviting. More pillows? Chairs closer together?

If you’d like to get your finances in order, how can you make your office space more welcoming and efficient? Another desk? More file space? An annual planning calendar on the wall?

If you want to have more prayer or meditation in your life, where do you want to pray or meditate? How can you make that place feel right for quiet, sincere centering and connection?

There’s a saying: "If nothing changes, nothing changes." In therapy I suggest changing whatever is easiest to change first. Sometimes, a small change in your space and décor can lead to a big change in your life.