"New Year’s Resolutions for Your Relationship"

Most New Years resolutions are about doing things differently than we did last year. And many of us have one or more resolutions about our relationships.

In that light, I’d like to share three age-old steps for making change:

(1) apologize, (2) make amends, and (3) do it different next time.

Step 1: Apologize.

Apologize directly to your partner. Let them know that you regret what you did (or didn’t do) in the past. Ask for their forgiveness.

Step 2: Make amends.

Find some way to make it up to them. Or find a way to make significant gesture of regret. Or ask them what you could do that would help make it better. Then, when you did this, let them know you are doing it to try to make amends.

Step 3: Do it different next time.

The next time you are in the old situation, be sure you do differently than you did before. This is the real proof of your sincerity. So, you need to watch carefully for when that same situation starts again. And when it does, do something different. That’s the moment of truth.

You might want to let them know that you’re doing it differently. You could say something like, "You know, I was tempted to do such and such, but I that doesn’t work well for us. So, instead, I am doing this new thing."

The saying goes,

"If you keep on doing what you always did,

You’ll keep on getting what you always got."

And some folks say that the definition of insanity is

"Doing the same thing, and expecting different results."

This is a great time of year to start doing a DIFFERENT thing.

© copyright, David Woodsfellow, 2001

P.S. Free marriage check-ups are available during the month of January. Call 404-325-3401 for more information and to arrange a time.