"In Sickness and in Health"

It’s tough when you’re sick. You don’t feel good. You’re worried about how bad it’s going to be. You worry about how much your life is going to be affected. Sometimes, you feel exhausted by your illness, or by your treatment. You have less energy; you’re more needy; yet you wonder how much you should let others know. You wish it would all just go away.

And, from the other side: It’s tough when your partner is sick. It’s no fun. There’s more work; there’s less play. They feel bad, and you feel bad for them. Sometimes, they’re not as easy to be with, because they’re not feeling well. Sometimes, you’re not as easy to be with, because you’re feeling frustrated.

Also there’s the fear. How serious is it? There’s the tension of waiting for results — or watching for recurrence. What if things get worse? What would we do then?

As kind and generous and caring as we want to be, most of us fall short at times. We get selfish, or thoughtless, or busy.

A serious illness is especially scary. What if things don’t get better? What if things get worse? Is this going to be a permanent disability? Is this going to be fatal? What then?

These questions aren’t a lot of fun. But they are part of life — and part of every long-term relationship. All relationships have challenges. One of those challenges is coping with illness.

Our path through life, unfortunately, is not all sweetness and light. Some of the path is bitter. We need to bring light to those places too. That’s hard. But not impossible.