What Is a Love Cycle?
The Path to Spend More Time in Your Love Cycle
All couples have a Love Cycle. Or, at least had one in the past. You're in your love cycle when you're both feeling good, and both doing nice things for the other.
Lovemaking can be a perfect example. You each feel good, you each make the other feel good. The better you feel, the more loving you are. Same with them. It’s a perfect circle.
Love cycles happen in every-day ways too. You make a nice meal for the two of you. Your partner enjoys it. He or she thanks you and praises you. You feel good. You’re both inclined to keep doing nice things for the other.
You do something nice,
So, they feel good.
So, they do something nice,
So, you feel good
So, you do something nice,
And it goes around and round.
Most of us want to spend as much time as possible in our love cycles. Our book, Love Cycles, Fear Cycles will help you do that.
There are two important things to know.
1. How does your partner, most deeply, want to feel?
2. What can you do to create that feeling?
I know that Deborah most deeply wants to feel cherished. I know I can make her feel that way by being kind and thoughtful. I can use a kind tone and kind words. I can do acts of kindness. I can be thoughtful and anticipate what she might want or need.
So, that's what I should do -- as much as I can -- to keep us in our love cycle. The more I do these, the more likely Deborah is to do loving things in return.
You'll have your own version of this. Think about what your partner most wants to feel, and what you can do to create that feeling. That's the path to spending more time in your love cycle.
Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship
Love Cycles, Fear Cycles will teach you the most important idea from couples therapy. This idea will help you understand what’s been going wrong for the two of you – and what you can do to make things go right.